Silence is Golden, but Ductape is Silver
by tiff0795
Summary: Hey my name is Ferb Fletchure I know I'n the quiet one in the family. But I do talk and listen. In my journal, you will see MY point of view of all the wacky adventures my step-brother puts me through. Rated for multiple saying of the phrase "shut up".
1. rollercoaster pt1

"So Ferb, what should we do today?" My younger step-brother says. I'm reading trying to ignore him the best I can, but hey, it's impossible to ignore Phineas. I really have a lot of answers, build a rocket, fight a mummy, climb up the Eiffel Tower, discover something that doesn't exist or give a monkey a shower. I merely shrug. "What about Perry, what does he want to do?" Or sure, Phineas, like I speak platypus. Perry makes a chirping noise. Thanks for backing me up, Perry.

"I for one am starting to get bored. And boredom is something up with which I will not put!" Phineas, some times I don't know about you. "I mean the first thing they're gonna ask us when we get back to school is what did we do over the summer! I mean no school for three months, our lives should be a roller coaster! And I mean a good roller coaster not like the one we rode at the state fair." He said. Man, I don't think that kid can be quiet for 2 minuets. He's not even quiet in his sleep! He's either snoring or talking in his sleep. That's one way we can tell if Phineas isn't feeling good. He gets really quite. "I actually liked it, it drove you bonkers!" I said. "Shut up, Ferb." He said with a hint of smile in his voice.

"Man, that was lame. Why if I built a roller coaster I would-" he started to say. His voice trailed off and he got a glimmer in his eyes. Uh oh. "That's it! I know what we're gonna do today!" I knew it. "Hey, where's Perry?" he said. "Hold on, Phineas, let me activate my super sonic platy-human ray and ask him." I said. Phineas laughed. "Shut up, Ferb!" he said. "Let's go get the stuff." he said. "For the roller coaster, or the super sonic platy-human ray?" "Shut up, Ferb!" he said laughing. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out that Phineas says "shut up" to me a lot. He doesn't to it when he's angry though, for some reason. He just kind of avoids me for a day or two. Not me, if I'm mad at him, I'll yell and kick and punch him. I know I'm kind of mean, but he always starts it!

We had blue prints all along fold out tables in the yard when my step-sister Candace comes though the gate. "Mom's says I'm in charge conditionally!" she said. "Whatever." Phineas responded. "Wait, what are you two doing?" "homework." "It's summer" "That's cool, you just wait till the last minuet then." "Well I'm watching you. And I'm in charge… conditionally." Candace stares at us through the window. She kind of freaks me out. But I can't say anything, she was there when I was getting potty trained.

A few minuets later, we have all the stuff in the backyard. "Ferb, You can start." "And I can end it, and I can do the middle why you put one screw in and say that you helped." I said. Phineas laughed. "Shut up, Ferb, I will not!" "We'll just see about that." "You have to admit I do help." "You're nine years old." "So are you!" "Yeah, but I'm five months older." "Shut up, Ferb." "Shut up, Phineas." Phineas burst out in laughter. I don't know how I do it, maybe it's just something I was born with, but Phineas can be all down and depressed and I can make him laugh uncontrollably in the drop of a beat. Just by looking at him! I love to make Phineas laugh ,though, his laugh is very catchy.

Candace comes out of the house. "Ooo when Mom catches you, you are going down! Down down down! D-O-W-N Down!" Candace said racing for her bike. "We're gonna need a blow torch and some more peanut butter." Phineas says. "Why peanut butter?" I ask. "Isn't it obvious?" Phineas said. "You're a pig?" Phineas cracked up. "Shut up, Ferb!"

Isabella came into the back yard. When Phineas heard her, he quickly regained his composure. I don't know how Phineas does it, but he can act perfectly normal around Isabella. What's odd is PHINEAS HAS A HUGE CRUSH ON HER! He doesn't show it and he's most likely going to kill me for saying that. The funny thing is, Phineas doesn't know about Isabella's crush on him and Isabella doesn't know about Phineas's crush on her. I'm not going to say any thing, though, I'll let them find it out for them selves.

"Hey, Phineas." Isabella said. "Hey Isabella." Phineas responded. "Watch'ya doing?" she called. "Building a roller coaster." "In your back yard?" "Some of it." "Wow, isn't that kind of impossible?" "Some might say." I can't believe it! Not even a "hey, Ferb" It's like she only cares about Phineas. "Hey, Ferb." she calls up to me. That's more like it! I wave back.

"Does you step-brother ever talk?" Isabella asked. Yes, yes I do. "Who? Ferb?" No, Phineas, you're other step-brother that came out of the blue beyond. "He's more of a man of action." I hammer a nail then it bounces back and hits me in the face. Phineas is trying desperately to hold his giggles "So… do you want to go swimming?" Isabella asked. "Kind of in the middle of something." Phineas said. "Oh, right. O.k. see you later." Isabella said. "O.K." Phineas responded. "Hey, Ferb, you got enough rib bits up there?" Phineas called to me. I give him a thumbs up and I used that gun- thingy and then blew it. No one dares approach the sheriff in these here parts.

"O.K. Phineas, time for you to screw in your screw." I call down. "Ferb, we need a building permit." "Now you tell me." "Shut up, Ferb. Now how do you do this?" "Grab something to write with." Phineas goes in the house and comes back out. "O.K. now what?" "That's a crayon." "Just tell me how to do it." "You know, write stuff and staple all the papers together." "Ferb" "How am I supposed to know? I'm nine and a half years old!" "But you're my big brother." "Go on the internet and work on it." "O.K." Phineas ran into the house. I got off the roller coaster and ran after him. "Phineas, I told you wouldn't hold up your end of the coaster." "Shut up, Ferb." Phineas jiggled the mouse and pushed keys. "Why won't this thing wake up!" "Well, it would maybe help if you had the computer on." Phineas looked at the computer, then at me then back at the computer and turned it on. "Shut up, Ferb." "Phineas, maybe I should do it, considering what luck you have with computers you may sign us up for a years subscription to Disney Adventures magazine." "Shut up, Ferb." Phineas was in a swivel chair so I turn him around to face me and looked him square in the eyes. "Don't smile. Don't smile. What ever you do don't smile." Phineas tried not to laugh. I started to tickle him. Hr screamed in laughter and fell out of the chair. I hurriedly got in it. "Fine, but good luck finding the papers." Within five minuets I was printing out papers. Phineas gave me a weird look. "Shut up, Ferb. Me and Phineas were flipping the papers until I finally figured them out. Me and Phineas signed our names in the required spaces. "Now I request a apology from you on the account of thinking I'm incapable of finding building permits on the internet." I say. "Shut up, Ferb"

A/N These will all be in two parts because this is a lot to remember and a lot to type. So they all will be in two parts or less.


	2. rollercoaster pt2

"Well, Ferb, this is the place." Phineas said as we approached a very sophisticated building that looked nothing like a place to confirm a building permit. "Phineas, are you sure this is the right place?" I asked him. "These are the directions you printed up. 691 Chicago Street." Phineas showed me the piece of paper. "Phineas, how stupid can you get?" I said. "Excuse me?!" He said insulted. "You have the numbers up-side down!" I said. He turned them right side up. "Shut up, Ferb." Then we went to 169 Chicago Street. "This is more like it!" I said. Phineas nodded. "Remember, when we get home, you do your share of the roller coaster." I said. "Shut up, Ferb." Phineas was talking to the person when I heard "You think we can borrow one of those gadgets?" It way Phineas. The person said yes and we brought it home. Phineas set it up all by himself, I was impresses. I also refused to help him. So Phineas forced me into the back car with him. I crossed my arms. "Now this is the life." Phineas said. "I told you, Ferb." "Shut up, Phineas." "Someone needs a nap!" Phineas called out. "That's it! Get me out of here!" "Ferb, could you put up these flyers why you're out?" Phineas said as he handed me a whole stack of papers. "Phineas Zechariah Flynn, where did all of this come from?" Phineas gave me a mischievous grin. "Oh Phineas! You're sick!" Phineas burst out laughing. 

I was at the grocery store hanging up flyers. I was so mad at Phineas! Phineas couldn't stop the machine, so the minuet we got close to someone's tree, he push me out! I don't know how yet, but I'll find a way to get him back. I noticed Candace and Linda. I was to mad, so I didn't say hi. After that I ran into Isabella. And when I say ran into, I mean run into! Isabella and the fireside girls were picking up groceries for their annual cookie sale. (Man, those things are good! Me and Phineas will each have a box devoured in a half an hour.) Well, I was so mad I wasn't looking where I was going, and the next thing I knew, papers and cookie mix were every where and we were all on the ground. "Ferb, what's the rush?" Isabella said. "Say, do you guys happen to have a 'some one whose man at his step-brother helping him pass out flyers' badge?" I said. "As a matter of fact we do." Isabella said. "What?!" I said in shock. "Well, we have a 'community service under the age of 13' badge." she said. I shook my head. "So, what do you need our help on?" "Can you pass out these flyers for me?" "Did you leave Phineas home alone by himself?" I stared blankly at Isabella. "You better get home, don't worry, we'll handle these flyers for you." "Thanks, I'll take the cookie mix home." "Thanks." "Don't thank me, the faster we get the ingredients home, the faster you can make your mints for me!"

Back at home, Phineas was surprised to see me back so soon. "Did you hang up all the flyers?" he asked. "Yes, Isabella and the Fireside girls are on it." "Isabella's hanging them up?" Phineas asked. "Yes, oh, and I told her about your crush on here, she said that you should get married in Hawaii and live a happy life with four children and a dog." "YOU DID WHAT?!" Phineas said in shock. I thought he would collapse from lack of air. His face went beet red. I couldn't control myself. I gave a smile trying not to burst out laughing. "SHUT UP, FERB!" I burst out laughing and couldn't stop! Phineas started to do the same. We couldn't control ourselves! 

"O.K. Ferb, back to business. I want you to wear this." He hands me a funny looking door man outfit. "No way." "C'mon, Ferb, it brings out the color in your eyes." "Flattering will get you no where, my friend." Phineas smiled. "What will you be wearing?" I asked. Phineas posed. "This." he said. "That's the ugliest Phineas Flynn costume ever!" I said. Phineas laughed. "Shut up, Ferb." 

Phineas handed me a piece of paper. "I want you to learn this script." Phineas said and handed me a microphone. "O.K. lets rehearse." Phineas said. "O.K." I tap the microphone. "That good enough for you?" "Could you go it with a little more feeling? It looks like I dragged you up there against your will." "Sure thing, Phineas." I banged the microphone on the stage. "That enough feeling for you?" "Shut up, Ferb."

Within an hour people were lining up all the way to our driveway. I was ushering them in. I can't believe Phineas talked me into doing this. And the even scarier part was: I didn't know how! When all the people were in, I tapped on the microphone. Not crazily, but not like I was dragged up there against my will. I ushered Phineas in. "Ladies and Gentlemen, boys and girls, children of all ages, may I introduce a skeptical most of the morning in the making." I was like a one-man band over in the corner. The ants go marching one by one hurrah! Hurrah! The ants go marching one by one hurrah! Hurrah! The ants go marching one by one and the little one stops to suck his thumb and the ants go marching down to the ground, to get out of the rain. Boom, boom, boom, boom. Oops off topic. Back to the story. "The coolest," bring "coaster," bring "Ever!" Phineas pulled down the string and all the neighborhood kids stared in awe. Then a bird got hit in the head. Poor bird, get it while it's down! "So who wants to go first?" Everyone raised their hands.

"To fasten, please insert the tab into the metal buckle. To release, just pull back on the Oops." The sample buckle came hurtling towards Earth. "Well, you get the picture. Well that's about it, enjoy the ride." Phineas got back in his seat. We got to the top of the portion me and Phineas call "Mt. Ever Everest" "You all did sign the wavers, right?" Phineas asked. Now's a good time to ask, Phineas, we didn't even sign the wavers. 

We were going so fast that I shut my eyes through most of it until I heard Phineas say, "Hey look, here comes the ah-ah-ah." "ah-ah-ah." everyone went. Then there was mud and snakes and carwashes and being lifted in the air and hurtling into space. A satellite came floating by. "You know, if that thing crashes to earth, Candace is in charge, right?" We all of the sudden came full sped toward Earth. "We should have charged more." The front of the coaster caught on fire, me and Phineas were trying to blow it out. A lot of good that did. I blinked and the next thing I knew, I was in the back yard. "Hi boys." Linda said. "Hi mom." Phineas said. I started to think it was a dream until kids started falling out of trees. I still thought maybe it was a dream because you don't particularly see that every day. People started congratulating Phineas. "That was awesome! Can we go again?" "Sorry, only one ride per customer. "I liked your coaster, Phineas." Isabella said. "Thanks." "So what are you gonna do tomorrow?" "Don't know yet." "Maybe you can teach Perry some tricks." "Well, he is a platypus, they don't do much." "They're the only mammals to lay eggs." I say. It was silent. "Maybe he'll lay an egg." Phineas said. "O.k. see you later."

"You guys really make a great team." Isabella said. "Well, a brother is a brother, but I couldn't have asked for a better one than Ferb. You know what I mean?" Aww. Phineas, I couldn't have asked for a better brother either. I was about to say this, but instead I belched. "Oh, man, I can smell the peanut butter." he said shoving me. Who? Me? No that was your other step-brother from the blue beyond. That is where Phineas's true colors came out. "Well, that was impressive." Isabella said walking away. 

"So what should we do tomorrow?" Phineas said leaning back against the tree. "There's a world of possibilities. Maybe we should make a list." "Oh great! We'll spend all day tomorrow making out a list." He would have responded to that statement by "Shut up, Ferb." but he couldn't because the tree blowing up beat him to it. Both of us jumped. "And I had to much peanut butter?" "Shut up, Ferb."

O.K. by know you probably got the "Silence is Golden" part but the question you're asking yourself is "What about the duck tape is silver part?" Well, remember how I was so mad at Phineas for pushing me out of the machine and that I was thinking of a way to get him back? Well, right before Phineas woke up. I duck taped him to a chair and duck taped a few of our old gym socks to his face. Phineas woke up screaming. I walked by Phineas and he was giving me the death glare. "Hey, Silence is golden, but duck tape is silver." And the stinky sock muffled his "Shut up, Ferb."


	3. The Fast and the Phineas pt1

Today Phineas is still a little sour about what I did to him over the weekend. My dad and Linda found Phineas in the chair and me with duck tape in my hand. They're still trying to figure out a punishment. They took me into a room and did a speech that went something like: "Ferb Isaiah Fletcher, how could you duck tape your own step-brother to a chair?"

By the way, I have no idea why our parents named us all after Bible names. Ferb Isaiah, Phineas Zechariah, Candace Rachel, me and Phineas actually have two middle names, Phineas Zechariah Lucas and Ferb Isaiah Peter. We only get called by the first one, except when someone's REALLY mad at us.

Any way, I said what Phineas did to me and they didn't believe me. And this is where my two middle names came in I let out a few dozen wise cracks. BIG MISTAKE! The next thing I knew, I had a bar of soap in my mouth and Phineas was getting um… un-duck taped form the chair.

He was wailing by this point. I guess that's what seven hours with out eating breakfast will do to a person. Phineas is pretty crabby in the morning until he gets his breakfast.

And back to present day, Dad and Linda are trying to figure out a punishment for me one for lying to them about what Phineas was doing, two duck taping my step- brother to a chair, three the wise cracks and being disrespectful, and four making up stories to get Phineas in trouble. I was so mad at Phineas; I asked him why he didn't back me up. He said he wasn't thinking. And Dad and Linda came into the room just as I said, "When do you ever think?" Phineas knew that was only supposed to be a joke, that I didn't think he was really dumb. But Dad and Linda took it as though I was calling Phineas a stupid idiot. So now that's added on to the punishment. Then, when we were all alone, Phineas made a little bet.

"If you do no talking, you know, you don't say anything until someone asks you a question, and you have to do it in three words or less, I'll tell Mom and Dad what really happened and offer to take you punishment. If you don't you have to take the punishment." "O.K. But you have to do something to."

"What's that?"

"If you can go a whole day with out saying 'Shut up, Ferb' I'll do all your chores for two weeks. But if you can't you do all mine for two weeks. Deal?"

Phineas thought about it for a minuet. "It's a deal." Then we shook hands. "Starting now," Phineas said. I held up a finger.

"One more thing," I said.

"What's that?" Phineas said.

"We can't tell Linda or Dad about this."

"Or Candace."

"Right."

"O.K. Starting now." Phineas said.

"So, Ferb what should we do today? I mean, besides giving Perry a bath," Phineas said. We both sniffed Perry. Man did he stink! Perry chirped. Cars roomed.

"What is that wonderful noise?" Phineas said.

"You farting?" I said.

"Shut… it, Ferb," I wrote a note to him.

"Same diff," I wrote.

"Fine. Wait, you talked."

"You asked me a question," I wrote.

"True, but writing is the same thing. If I can't say shut it, you can't write." I got a stick and started tapping on the tree. Phineas cracked up. "O.K. I have to give you points for creativity, but no Morse code either." Suddenly a message popped up on Phineas's cell phone. "Can I laugh?" It said.

Phineas nodded. "But no texting either." I started cracking up. "O.K. Ferb, I know what we're gonna do today." I slapped my head.

A few minuets later, we were in the garage.

"I don't think Linda will appreciate you making her van into a racecar." I said in sign language. Phineas looked at me. "I'm glad we learned something from those sign language classes." I signed. Phineas made a beak, closed it, and then pointed at me. I mad the coo-coo sign and pointed at Phineas. Phineas smiled.

"O.K., Ferb, you ready to turn this racecar around?" he said. I wrote "racecar" then I wade an arrow going left and I spelt "racecar" again. Phineas didn't get it at first.

"Racecar' spelt backwards is 'racecar'," I signed.

"Not like that, Ferb. I'll go in the car and paint it. And you make a remote control so we can drive it."

"So basically, you want a really big remote controlled car?" I signed.

"Pretty much, yeah," Within minuets we were working.

"Ferb, could you come here a sec?" Phineas asked sitting on the front. I went over. Phineas motioned for me to came up and sit by him. "See that, right there, next to the thing?" A little more descriptive, Phineas. I couldn't see it, I lean in closer. Phineas and I were practically in the engine. Phineas and I leaned in closer. "Right there, Ferb, see? The doohickey next to the whatsyamacallit."

Nice, Phineas. I leaned in closer and I started to fall in. I grabbed Phineas and Phineas grabbed the thing that holds the hood up. We were in the engine of the car with the hood down.

"Nice going Phineas," I said.

"Did you just talk?"

"I don't care."

"I'll let it slide while we're in here."

"Thanks, Phineas."

"And because we're letting it slide, shut up, Ferb."

"Wait, I think I can get the hood open. C'mon, help me."

Phineas and I tried heaving the hood open. At first we were unsuccessful.

"O.K., on three," Phineas said.

"One…two…" I said.

"Three!" we both said just as Candace came into the garage.

"What are you doing to mom's car?" she asked.

"We tricked it out!" Phineas said popping the hood up. Phew, talk about a great escape.

"You don't even know how to drive," Candace said. Neither do you.

"Well, duh, that's why Ferb built this remote control," Phineas said.

See? I gave her a sample of the engine starting.

"Oh, you guys are so busted!" Candace said and ran around the house opening doors and yelling for Linda. Phineas and I hurriedly got out and I started to put something in the car, but it wouldn't fit.

"Jump on it," Phineas said.

And that's exactly what I did as Candace came in and said "Umm….where's mom?"

"She's playing bridge at Mrs. Garciez-shiperio's,"

Candace smiled and ran next door.

"By the way, I figured out what that was. It was the windshield washer fluid."

A few minutes later, all the parts were in place and the car was painted.

"Ready for a test run?" Phineas said. I nodded. Phineas and I walked to the front yard with the garage door opened. I started backing the car up. I was so nervous. One dent and it would be added to my punishment.

I soon figured out it was kind of like playing Gran Turismo. Soon I was rushing it back and forth down the street.

"Say, Ferb, what's that red button for?"

I looked at Phineas, then at the remote. I handed the remote to Phineas. He smiled and pushed the red button. The car jumped in the air just as Candace and Linda stepped out of Isabella's house. They both looked at us.

"Hi, Mom!" Phineas called.

"Hi, boys!" Linda responded. She stood outside for a moment to talk to Candace, and then she walked inside just as the car came down.

Wow, funny how she timed that just right so she didn't see anything.

"Good thing we beefed up the suspension!" Phineas said. I looked across the street to see Candace with a weird look planted on her face.

"Candace, do you want front row seats to see what are family station wagon can do?" Phineas yelled.

"You must think I'm crazy!" Candace said.

Candace, with all due respect that only a little brother can have for his big sister, I don't just think, I know.

"There is no way that I am just going to let you get away with this and me not do anything!" Candace stomped back into the house. Phineas and I stared at the door for a while when Phineas finally broke the silence.

"So, Ferb, what can our family station wagon do?"

I spun in around a few times and Phineas seemed impressed.

"Whoa! What else can it do?"

I was going to sign "It can also stop on a dime when someone gets car sick," but who better to come up? But Phineas' crush to meet her own crush, Isabella.

"Hey, Phineas," she said. Phineas turned around.

"Hey, Isabella," Phineas responded.

And make note of this, again no "Hey, Ferb". If she wants to get in good with Phineas, she had better get in good with me, first. But I guess those two just have to do everything the hard way.

"Whatch'ya doing?" Isabella asked.

"We're entering the Swamp oil 500," Phineas said.

Now, I'm going to put the story on pause here for just a second. Swamp oil 500? Indy 500? I didn't get that until just now! And Swamp oil? Jeff "Swampy" Marsh? I don't know exactly what he does, but I've heard of him, and I know he's kind of important. I don't know how, though. Anyways, now that I've gotten you completely off focus, back to the story!

"Aren't you gonna need a pit crew?" Isabella asked.

"Do you know a pit crew?" Phineas asked.

Can't we talk like regular human beings? And even worse, you're talking like that and answering a question with a question! I mean, how annoying is that?

"Well, I know a group of people who work well together," Isabella said.

Really? Oh my gosh, I can't imagine who! Dang it, I need to talk! I'm going crazy and making wise cracks inside my head! What about when I go to get help! What am I going to say? "Oh, my brother bet me that I couldn't talk for the whole day and now I can only make wise cracks in my head and they're so good and now I can't get them out and now I'm going crazy!" I can only imagine how that psychiatrist visit would turn out.

"Cool, see you on the track!" Phineas said.

And Phineas acts like everything is just hunky dory! I hope he's happy that I just traumatized myself!

**A/N well, you wanted it, now you got it! Sorry, with all the stuff happening in my life, I couldn't get it to you any sooner. Hopefully now I can get it back to a consistent basis. By the way, I started this chapter when I was like, twelve and ended it when I was fifteen, so if there's a change of humor in the middle of the chapter, I'm sorry, but I just matured. Well, we don't have cable any more, so I'm going to have to re-watch some episodes and all the episodes from season two are going to be pretty far apart, but I'm still planning on going through all of it because I really want to do "summer belongs to you" I think that would be very fun to do. Ok, just thought I'd let you know what's going on so you didn't think I fell off the face of the earth and then re-appeared. So, peace, and hope you like the chapters (not to mention stories) to come!**


	4. The Fast and the Phineas pt2

"Say, where's Perry?" Phineas asked me once Isabella left. I just stared at him for a second. Phineas looked at me expectantly. I guess he didn't expect when I slapped him upside the head.

"Ow! What was that for?" Phineas asked holding his head. Now it was my turn to do a facepalm.

"What is your problem, Ferb? Why aren't you talking?" Phineas asked.

"Are you stupid?" I asked back.

"What are you talking about?" Phineas asked rather annoyed. I just stared at him, it would click eventually. It did. "Oh, woops. Sorry, bro, I forgot," he said. Sure you did, Phineas.

"Well, I suppose we should get it over to the Jefferson County Motor Speedway," Phineas said as he hopped into the front seat. I sat in the passenger seat and we were on our way.

For some reason, Phineas was clutching the seat and shouting "right".

"Ferb, right. Right, Ferb. Ferb, stay on the right. Ferb, we're not in England, on the right side of the road," Phineas said the whole way there. Geez, he can be so nit-picky sometimes.

We arrived at the track in one piece thanks to yours truly. We signed up the car and the people gave Phineas a racing outfit to change into. It matched the color scheme of the car pretty well. They gave me with little pilot goggle set thing, too. I didn't know what I would use it for, but I still put it on. After he got changed, Phineas and I were polishing the car. We were just about done when Isabella came.

"Hey, Phineas, I got your pit crew," she said, with the fireside girls behind here. I bet you didn't see that coming, did you? I know, the suspense was just killing you.

"Great, see you in the pits," Phineas said as he waved and walked away. Gotta love how classy that boy is. I stuck around to make sure everything was working properly.

Isabella pulled out a display of the car's engine and one of those pointer things that every kid would die for. "Okkay, girls, we're dealing a 426 cubic inch, fully blown V8, with hypo-lifters, radical cam, and a limited slip differential."

All of the fireside girls started turning pages in their handbooks. The middle one raised her hand and asked, "Would that be electronically fuel injected?"

My jaw dropped. Where were these girls when we fell into the engine earlier? As I was trying to cover up that they knew more about the station wagon than I did, Phineas called me over.

"Hey, Ferb, they're announcing the racers," he said when I walked over.

"And in the third lane, newcomer, team Phineas!" the guy said over the loudspeaker.

"Now is it just me or does he look a little bit young to be behind the wheel of a 700 horsepower racing machine?" the other guy said over the loud speaker. Maybe I wasn't the best option for Phineas to pick.

"Yes, yes he does," the first guy said. A picture of Phineas came up on the big screen and on the top stars introduced the words "Team Phineas".

"And look, he's already got his own screaming fans!" the second guy said. Candace came up on the screen yelling for Phineas.

"Hey, Candace is rooting for us!" Phineas said. They showed the clip again. I didn't think that was rooting.

A camera man and visual journalist came up to Phineas. "Hey, mind if we ask you two a few questions?" he asked.

"Sure, my name is Phineas Flynn, and this is my brother, Ferb Fletcher," Phineas said.

"So how does it feel to be the youngest racer ever to compete in the Swampoil 500?" the man asked.

"Well, I like to make the most out of every day of summer, and what boy my age wouldn't want to compete in a professional race?" Phineas said.

"You've got me there. Now, how exactly did you prepare for the race?" the man asked.

"Well, this is actually our family station wagon with a paint job. We didn't have any of that fancy car paint, so we used some from our craft drawer. As for the internal work, my brother Ferb here did most of that," Phineas said, as he wrapped his arm around my shoulder. This was turning out to be some interview.

"Well, thank you for your time, son, and good luck on the race," the man said. Giving Phineas his hand to shake.

"Thanks, good luck on the interviewing," Phineas said, taking the man's hand and shaking it. The man walked away to interview the other racers.

Phineas turned away. "He was nice," he concluded.

I took my spot where I could see the whole track. Phineas got into position in the front seat. I brought him up to the starting line.

The race was about to start. The engine was revving. "Okkay, Ferb, are we good to go?" Phineas asked over the head set.

Curse that boy for being too far away to smack again. I gave him a thumbs-up. If he didn't see it, oh well. After all, he's the one who made this stupid bet.

"And with the race about to start," the guy over the loudspeaker said, "there's the Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated blimp!" Geez, everyone deserves a smack across the head today! What does a blimp have anything to do with a race ON THE GROUND?

Everyone stopped to marvel at the purple blimp. I guess that's why no one noticed as a teenage girl made her way to the racing track. I thought no one was allowed in there. Just then, the race started. Well, I guess there's nothing anyone can do about it now. Every car gunned from the starting line and the race began!

The race went like normal for a while. "Pulling up fast on the inside lane, it's number 42, Team Phineas!" the guy on the loudspeaker said. It's just our luck we get number 42. Apparently, we're the answer to life, the universe, and everything. Nothing can boost someone's ego any higher.

"Hey, Ferb," Phineas said over the ear piece, "do you think we can get any more power?" I swear, I'm going to strangle this kid if he asks me one more question that I can't answer. I looked around for something I could use. "I mean, I know it's just a battery, but I was thinking, let's open it up and see what this puppy can-"

I found an old car batter and some jumper cables. I left the remote and took the headset off as I went to go grab them. I couldn't take it if Phineas asked me one more question. I quickly hooked up the jumper cables to the remote and put the headset back on. I picked up the remote and the car raced forward.

"Oh, yeah!" Now, that's what I'm talking about!" Phineas said into the headset.

I rounded a corner, that's right, just one, when I heard a phone ring. I looked down and saw a red corded phone right beside me. I picked up the phone and before I could scream "How the heck did this phone get here?" Isabella said, "Hey, Ferb, we should bring Phineas in for a pit stop." And this is why you never answer phones that appear out of nowhere and work without any known source of electricity, kids. I pulled Phineas into the pits and stopped him as the flag went down. I could see the fireside girls go to work. I threw to possessed phone over the edge of the tower. They must have been done, because I heard Isabella say, "Hit it, Ferb," over the ear piece. And she couldn't have done that before? No, she had to give me a possessed phone.

I pulled out of the pits and there was a big yellow bow on the car. A bow! I guess they were being courteous and thought I couldn't see a bright red and yellow car in the mix of blues and greens. Very thoughtful, guys.

The race continued as normal, that was until a beach ball deflated, went into the windshield of a car, the car crashed into a pole, and the billboard that the pole was holding up went onto the racetrack right in front of Phineas.

"Ferb, watch out!" Phineas said in the ear piece. I maneuvered him under the billboard and the race continued smoothly.

"The Team Phineas car is avoiding every obstacle! It's like he can see the whole darn track at once!" the man said over the loudspeaker.

I gave a thumbs-up and with that little gesture, broke the fourth wall.

The rest of the cars went all _Dukes of Hazard _on us and caught air from the billboard. One green one landed in front of Phineas, bounced as Phineas went under him, and landed behind him. I bet he couldn't do that twice. Other cars weren't as fun. They just broke on impact with the front bumper to the cement. I avoided every falling car, thank you very much.

Phineas pulled out a guitar from who knows where and started playing. I ignored the laws of physics and the rules of animation. I put the remote on my waist and pulled out a keyboard from the same place that phone came from. Isabella rocked the tambourine. Her and the fireside girls started singing. Now, watch the lyrics carefully and try to sing along. Don't worry if you can't get it on your first try, not a lot of people can.

_Go, Phineas, go_ _Go, Phineas_

_Go, Phineas, go_

_Go, Phineas_

_Go, Phineas, go_

_Go, Phineas_

_Go, Phineas, go_

_Go, Phineas_

Phew, told you that was hard. I can't tell you how hard it was to come up with a title for that. I don't know how we did that whole thing without messing up. The "Go, Phineas" part was the hard part, in my opinion.

After we were done with our little musical montage, all of the cars stacked themselves together. I wonder if they were okkay. All of the drivers stuck their heads out of their cars, waved and said, "We're okkay!" Well, I guess that answers that question. I guided Phineas through the tunnel of cars.

The race continued, even though Phineas was the only one still standing. I heard Candace scream. Why is she screaming? I will never understand her. The race continued we were approaching our final lap when I heard a scream come out of the blimp. Why is everyone screaming? Phineas didn't say a peep since our epic song!

Our final lap went through without a hitch and a picture of Phineas come up on the screen. He was leaning out the window waving. "And look at this amazing finish!" the man said over the loudspeaker.

That blimp somehow got deflated and was heading to the tower. "Oh no! A blimp is about to hit the broadcasting tower! Oh the humanity!" the man said over the loudspeaker. I actually have to thank Phineas for setting up this bet. Now that I can't talk, I realize how stupid the people who are talking are.

Phineas jumped out of the car and I met him at the winner's circle with Isabella. "You won!" she said hugging him.

"Yeah," Phineas said. They both looked into each other's eyes for a little longer than necessary. A guy threw a trophy the size of, well, us at Phineas and told us to pose as cameras started flashing. We smiled and then watched our family car take off out of the stadium.

"Hmm, looks like we're walking," Phineas said. We all started walking when Phineas realized he still had the suit on that they gave him. He found a Travelin' John and changed back into his regular clothes.

"Thanks for letting us race," Phineas said to the guard at the door as he handed him the suit.

"Aw, don't mention it. You three have a safe walk home, you hear me?" the guard said as I gave him back the pilot goggle set thing.

"Alright!" Phineas said as we walked the whole, long, gruesome way…down two streets.

Phineas and Isabella wouldn't shut up the whole way home. I ignored most of it. "Do you want to come over? My mom should be done with her bridge game by now," Isabella said.

"Naw, it's been a long day and we should really get home," Phineas said.

"Alright, cool, well see you tomorrow," Isabella said as she walked to her house. We walked in the front door.

"Hi, mom, we're home!" Phineas said as we walked past the kitchen door.

"Hey, boys, I saw what you did today," Linda said.

"Yeah? How'd you like it?" Phineas asked as we made our way to the back yard. I thought we were going to put it in our room. Why were we going out here for? This is why I should have been in front. I'm the only one who's had their head screwed on straight all day! We passed Perry. So that's where he was.

"I loved it!" Linda said. "Now, who wants some snacks?"

"Thanks, Mom," Phineas called.

Linda came outside with some lemonade for the both of us. "What's the trophy for, boys?" she asked.

"We won the Swampoil 500," Phineas responded.

"Aw, I knew you would love that yard sale down the street. I was going to take you boys to it, but it looks like you guys already found it. I heard Billy Ray Diggler was selling some of his old trophies," Linda said.

Before Phineas could respond, Linda turned to me. "Ferb, I've been thinking about your punishment," she said. Oh, no, here it comes.

Phineas cleared his throat. "Um, actually, Mom, I really did push him out of the tree. And he wasn't being mean to me earlier, we were just playing around," Phineas said.

I stared at Phineas. I must admit, I didn't think he would keep to his word. Linda looked at Phineas, then at me. "Well, Phineas, I'm glad you told the truth. Ferb, I'm sorry I falsely accused you," she said. We both nodded.

"So, are we in trouble?" Phineas asked.

Linda looked at the both of us and shook her head. "No, but if I ever catch you two trying to get even with each other again, you will be, understand?" We both nodded.

Linda stood up and looked at the trophy. "Do you two need help bringing that up to your room? It will get ruined if you leave it up here." Alright, so maybe I'm not the only one with my head screwed on straight.

"You're right, Mom," Phineas said, taking the front as I took the back.

We headed into the house and up the stairs. We adjusted the trophy in the room for optimal viewing experience.

"Hey, Ferb," Phineas said, looking at me. I looked at him. "I just want to say, now that the day is over… I was going to tell Mom and Dad the whole time. I just didn't want to hear your voice for a full day." Before I could respond, Phineas went out our door and back into the backyard where we left our lemonade.

I stood in our room a little dazed. I thought about getting back at him, but knowing my luck, I would be the one to get caught. So, instead, I followed my brother down to where our beverages sat perspiring.

**A/N: So, I finally finished! Cue the streamers and fanfare! Now, to get serious. Obviously, there is no way I can do every episode like this in order. For one, I don't have cable anymore and I don't remember all of the episodes by heart anymore. (I had the episode playing while I was typing this part out to make sure I got the right dialogue.) And there are a lot of episodes I just haven't seen yet. So, this is the last chapter of the original "Silence is Golden" fanfiction plan. Before you get your torches and pitchforks out, let me explain. I will be doing "Summer Belongs to You!", "Phineas and Ferb Christmas Vacation", and "Across the 2****nd**** Dimension" (which I don't know how I'm going to do that one, considering their memory was wiped afterwards. I guess I could do a **_**50 Firsts Dates **_**type of thing or something. I don't know, give me some ideas!). As if my past entries have been any indication, they're probably not going to be very fast posting. In the meantime, if anyone has any requests, I will do my best, but I think we all know how fast they would be published. I hope all of you understand. Thank you for everyone who reviewed and got my butt back in gear! I promise you, I read every single one of them. Thank you for all that favorited this and put it on your story alerts! I will try not to let you down with the upcoming chapters! Just know that because the series has progressed, some views will change because of the new information acquired. Also, because I started this series at the age of about 14 and I am now 17, understand that some of the humor will obviously change, as well as the overall format of the story. I tried not to make such drastic changes in this chapter, though, and the changes I made are hopefully for the better. Thank you for all of those who kept up with this for all these years and I will try not to disappoint you any further! **


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